I dont like lazy men

Ambition and workings makes this kitty purr

I was seeing someone a few months ago, truth be told he was great until he wasn’t so great. He had a tendency to self-sabotage and ruin situations for himself when they were fine. Before you start “awwing”, feeling pity for the grown manchild, it was a cop-out. I deduced the real reason and trust me, the boy na werey ( a mad person). After weeks of not speaking to him, trying to adjust to the fact that we weren’t seeing each other anymore, succeeding but no longer in the mood to entertain another disappointing man. I decided that body no be firewood and I’d rather be accustomed to the disappointment I knew than a new one I had to get to know.

How i imagine you guys reacting reading that last sentence

Thus the “friends with benefits” agreement, was drawn up. He of course was on board with the idea but I should have known he wouldn’t be good at it. It felt like he was under the impression that I still liked him. GUYS I DID NOT LIKE HIM ANYMORE. I just wanted an itch scratched when I needed it scratched.

He would come over to my home with ease and swiftness, like a thief in the night or the day but then he would act like I begged him to come over or he would do subtle things to “remind” me that we weren’t in a relationship. Again ladies and gentlemen I did not like him anymore !!

me whenever he would act up

In my opinion we weren’t doing anything crazy for me to be hooked on him, to any extent. So why he would be an absolute swegbe ? I didn’t know. Anyway, fast forward to a random morning, this man leaves 4 missed calls on my phone, all before 9 am! I woke up startled but decided to call back. On the phone he proceeds to ask if I was home and if he could come chill at mine for a few hours as they were doing some maintenance work in his home and he didn't want to be there.

Looking back at it now, I should have not agreed, in fact I shouldn’t have called him back but I was a good samaritan and as always I thought to myself “Tryphena what would Jesus do”. You will not believe that after opening up my home to this basket of questionmarks, he did not speak to me the entire time he was over. I tried to make friendly conversation, offered him a snack and this man was doing shakara, untop his homelessness he was still acting like a dolo!

When I thought things couldnt’t get worse, they did, that’s when I got the ick. Whilst I sat on my desk working, I watched him lay on my bed legs crossed and swinging playing call of duty mobile. Not checking work emails, not working on a project he had or at least conversing. He was just there laid out like a beg. Untop of that, at a point I watched him curl up into a ball and continue playing. Guys I wanted him OUT OF MY HOUSE.

you guys rn

Lesson 22 : I like a man with motion

This incident made me realize that he legitimately had nothing to offer me, he didn’t have much going on for himself. He wasn’t even a good “friend” and the benefits were less than satisfactory so what truly was the point of keeping him around, what even made him attractive?

I began thinking of his routine when I was seeing him prior to this arrangement and how lackluster it was. How he didnt really have hobbies; never soccer on the weekends with the boys, not even reading books or doing anything to develop himself in his spare time, when he wasn't with me. I thought of how he walked without purpose, so slow as though he was gliding through life. I even remembered why we stopped seeing each other and how lazy his excuses were, how stuck in his mediocre ways he was, he had never given: up and doing boy, even with the way he spoke.

But seeing him in such a lakadesical position was the final straw. Especially on my bed, whilst I was working on my desk ! I wanted to vomit! You know when a babe goes over to her boyfriends house to “chill”. She’s just on her phone while her man is working from home ? You know that type of setting right ? Guys I felt like the boyfriend and I couldn’t deal. He really had nothing going on, he had no motion. I couldn’t unsee that, which made me realise that I really don’t like men who have nothing going on for themselves.

me in that moment

No job ? not my spec, complacent in mediocrity ? Not my sepc, aspire to transpire without showing working ? not my spec ! Fine boy fine boy no concrete personality ? not my spec !

Maybe its the first born daughter in me or the era I am in currently, but there’s something about a lazy, unproductive, non-agile, uninteresting man that makes my body itch. I just cant my loves, I can’t ! I am working on myself everyday, I have goals and ambitions that I am chasing and several accolades under my belt. I am a writer, youtuber, reader, content creator and academic weapon. I’m an all-rounder ! THERE’S NOTHING LACKLUSTER ABOUT ME. So having a partner who gives nothing, who is so comfortable in his deadness ? yeah not my cup of tea.

I SAID WHAT I SAID BABY

If you aspire for greatness, if you work hard for that, if you are more than just a human existing. Dont be with or entertain anyone who isn’t on that plane. Its such a disservice to yourself as a person… and why would you ever do that ?

Never do that.